Goodbye 107

It’s hitting me harder than I expected.
Saying goodbye to this space.
I have never grieved the closing of a door in my life like this one.
None of the homes I’ve ever lived in, or the places I’ve worked.

This is hitting differently.

It feels like I’ve lost a part of me.
This culmination of my work as an artist. My passions and dreams in 900 square feet of tangibility.

There is so much unknown with what’s coming next.
So much we are chancing.
Taking a leap of faith on.
Have no idea if it will work.
If it was a good decision.
If we will like it more.
If it will be better.

I am finding that just because an action is made on your terms, it does not make it easier to make.

It feels harder even—the responsibility and weight of the decision being 100% on your shoulders.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t have doubt.
That I wasn’t wondering if we were making the right decision.
That I wasn’t wondering how I am going to walk past these windows and see what has come in after us.

But life is made up of seasons.
Growth. Change. Learning.

If you do not take risks,
if you are unwilling to move,
if you don’t open up your hands on occasion and let go,
if you are unwilling to welcome new experiences,
even (especially) when they are hard—are you really living?

I’m going to be quiet for a little while.

I need time to process this shift, these last four years.
I need time to hold everything tenderly and with care.
I need time to slow down.
I need time to be alone.

I am without any other adequate words, none feel sufficient, but thank you is a start.

Thank you.

xo

Leney